


Like I'm Finally Coming Home

by alecmagnus (wilsonrogers)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 07:04:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9808460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilsonrogers/pseuds/alecmagnus
Summary: While Magnus dozes, Alec thinks about how far they've come.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i suck at summaries so please read! fic inspired by [this](http://shumstafa.tumblr.com/post/157035060928/plantysoul-you-know-what-fuck-all-that-shit) textpost, and i thought about certain things magnus had said in season 1. enjoy!!!

While Magnus dozes beside him, Alec thinks. He’s naturally always been a thinker, having been taught at a young age to keep thoughts to yourself. In fact, he’s divided his thoughts into two categories: Before Magnus and After Magnus.

Before Magnus, it was Jace. His parabatai, his _brother_ , who he knew he wasn’t supposed to have feelings for, but did anyway. It was Jace this, and Jace that; Jace was the perfect warrior, the warrior Alec should’ve been. Alec couldn’t stop the images of a certain blonde Shadowhunter from appearing in his dreams, and the feelings of shame that came along hand in hand.

“One day, somebody’s gonna love you, heart and soul,” Izzy’s voice echoes in his head, a distant memory from a more painful time. Alec had refused to let himself hope, to let himself think he was worthy of such happiness. Shadowhunters were held to the highest standards, and emotions were never allowed to get in the way.

And then Magnus had come along, and even stranger, wanted _him_. For some reason, Magnus Bane, 400+ year old High Warlock of Brooklyn, desired by everyone, had picked him. And for once in his life, Alec, used to Jace and Izzy getting all the attention, didn’t know how he was supposed to feel.

Careful not to wake up his boyfriend, Alec wraps his arm around Magnus and thinks back to the chase, that messy, painful chase that had nearly killed the both of them in their desire. “Stay for one more drink?” Magnus had implored, and Alec found himself agreeing, unable to refuse. This desire was new, and different from his feelings for Jace; it burned painfully and pleasantly, and he gave in. _Just this once,_ he promised himself. Alec had never liked strangers, and he definitely didn’t know Magnus, yet every part of him was itching to get closer, to let himself fall.

But then reality had struck, and Alec knew that giving up his happiness for the law was the right thing to do. He knew Magnus was hurt, shocked and angry, and every part of Alec was screaming at himself to call it off, but he couldn’t. He had allowed this….thing with Magnus to go on far too long, and honestly? He should’ve never gotten himself involved in the first place. It was too much, and the collapse of the Clave’s carefully constructed facade he had sworn to his whole life wasn’t helping.

 _“You lose your breath every time they enter a room. Your heart beats faster when they walk by. Your skin tingles when they stand close enough to feel your breath.”_ Alec remembers that conversation the most; in that moment, he swore he had actually forgotten how to breathe. But looking back now, Alec realizes that probably for the first time in Magnus’ life, he was wrong.

Magnus had said those words on a whim, in a passionate plea for Alec to reconsider. Perhaps he didn’t really stop to think about their true impact. But thanks to the After Magnus era, Alec has learned to love himself. Alec has learned that relationships never really come easy, even when you care about the other person. Relationships are supposed to take time and effort, but at the end of the day, it’s worth it. It has to be.

Thanks to Magnus, Alec knows now that loving someone isn’t about racing heartbeats and trembling hands. Love consists of all the cuddle sessions, movie nights, and take out in bed. Love proves itself through casual banter and unwavering loyalty. Love is how Magnus always manages to make him feel calm, even when everything seems to be falling apart. Love is when fights lead to long talks, and long talks lead to apologies and new promises. 

Alec’s interrupted from his thoughts as he feels Magnus stir in his arms, sleepily blinking awake. The motion is still endearing, despite it being a regular occurrence, and Alec’s heart thuds contently in his chest. Smiling, he leans down to gently press a kiss against Magnus’ forehead.

“Hey,” he murmurs. “Did I wake you?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay. It’s always nice to wake up to your pretty face, darling,” Magnus teases, and Alec rolls his eyes fondly. “Do you have to go back to the Institute today?”

“Nope,” Alec grins. “I’m right where I need to be.”

“I’m glad,” Magnus whispers as he tucks his head underneath Alec’s chin, the hairs tickling his neck.

Love is like coming home, and Alec knows he’s found his here.


End file.
